I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
