Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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