you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
