If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
