I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she smelled like a LAN party
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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