I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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