I just made out with a guy for $7.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
