Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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