I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
