How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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