three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
