so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Randomize
