College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He better not be in your backpack
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
