Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
