It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
