Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
