why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
