billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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