Just fell off a train. Bad.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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