kristin has been a bad kristin
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
