if you like me you must not know who I am
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
