WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
you would pick up someone in the library
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
