is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
