Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
bring money and cleavage
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
