I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
