I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
