the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
