I could have mohawked her pubes.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
