Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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