Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
