Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize