Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
