Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
