Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
