You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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