Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
