went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
