Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
