He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
