..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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