At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
