Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
