Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Duck Duck Cougar?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
