been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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