Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
