Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
