so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I looked at my own cervix.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
