The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
