so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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