hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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