I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
