so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I FOUND THE LEGS
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
