I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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