Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
