Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
