I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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